A. The King County (Wash.) Sheriff's Department was given it by Holly Brown, Josh's wife.
Q. How did the journal and email become public?
A. Police documents were obtained by NJ Advance Media.
In a March 2014 letter to friends, Brown writes that, "I have been a liar for most of my life."
"I made selfish decisions to use and abuse women starting at the age of 7 ... I objectified women and never really worried about the pain and hurt I caused them," he wrote.
"My ability to connect emotionally to other people was zero. My empathy levels were zero. Because I never handled these underlying issues I became an abuser and hurt [my wife] physically, emotionally and verbally. I viewed myself as God basically and she was my slave."
Near the end of Brown's letter, he writes, "I am to blame for all of this."
In the police documents is a photocopy of a "Contract for Change" through a Seattle-area counselor dated March 28, 2013 and signed by Brown, his counselor and his then-wife.
The contract details several "offenses" Brown admits to, including that "I have physically, verbally and emotionally abused my wife."
In a personal journal entry attributed to Brown that appears to be from 2013 and is also included in the police documents, he writes: "I have physically, mentally, emotionally and verbally been a repulsive man. ... I have abused my wife."
Brown also writes in the journal that, "I may need an anger counselor."
Additionally, Brown's wife writes in her own journal entry included in the police documents that Brown "pushes, shoves hits me because I challenge him" and that Brown "says women like me get hit because we can't shut up."
In the documents, Det. Robin L. Ostrum notes she had to close the case due to an upcoming transfer, and that Brown's wife has not "reached out to me since February 2016," but there are indications Brown's wife did have later contact with Ostrum.
The detective also notes that, as of late August, the divorce proceedings between Brown and his wife were not yet finalized to her knowledge. Brown told reporters in August after news of his arrest broke that he and his wife had a finalized divorce.
Ostrum's recommendation of probable cause is related to the May 2015 incident, as well as a 2014 incident. According to the documents, Brown's wife provided photos detailing bruising on her body, as well as damage done to a mirror after Brown allegedly became physical with her.
The May 2015 charge was dropped five days later. But in Washington state, charges can be refiled at a later time if a subsequent investigation leads to that conclusion.
On May 24 of this year, the prosecutor sent a letter to the sheriff office stating the state would be unable to file charges without further evidence and testimony. A day after the initial charge against Brown was dropped, his wife sat for an extended interview with police where she alleged multiple instances of domestic violence throughout their marriage.
"When we made the decision to re-sign Brown back in [April of 2016], we were certainly aware of the arrest. We were also aware of the allegations associated with that arrest, and the fact the charges were dropped within a couple of days after the arrest," Giants co-owner John Mara said in August.
"Based on the facts and circumstances that we were aware of at that time, we were comfortable with our decision to re-sign him. Nothing that has happened in the mean time to make us question that decision. ... We attempted to make a informed decision here. We'll live with the results of that decision."
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