NY Post on Super Bowl: God is now a fan of the crotch-grabbing group performance enhancers | Bob's Blitz

NY Post on Super Bowl: God is now a fan of the crotch-grabbing group performance enhancers

The NY Post's Hondo breaks down the Super Bowl in impressive, must read form.

It’s BeastMode against CheatMode — an à la mode matchup made in Super Bowl heaven. Had the Patriots not been caught wreaking havoc on the rule book. Mr. Aitch might advise you to put your balls in their court. However, with all eyes on the Bel’ of the Balls, it’s going to be tough to engage in any nefarious Patriot acts.

Meanwhile, one team’s Deflategate has become the other team’s Elategate. As the nation focuses its venomous eyes to the Patriots, the scandalous Seahawks, who are the league leaders in PED suspensions since 2010, have escaped all scrutiny. Leave it to The Hoodie to turn Pete Carroll, who skulked away from USC, and the Seahawks into the game’s good guys.

Larry Linemaker sees this as a super tight tussle but is neglecting an important factor. After the Seahags improbable comeback against the Packers, Russell Wilson, who was so bad the devoted 12th Man made an early run for the parking lot, explained how he went from bum to stud in the final minutes: “That’s God setting it up, to make it so dramatic, so rewarding” — and so devastating for Green Bay. Evidently the Packers had a falling out with The Big Guy after their five titles in the ’60s. But Hondo digresses; the point is, according to Wilson, God is now a fan of the crotch-grabbing group performance enhancers.

It remains to be seen what effect full inflation of their balls will have on the Pats. Hondo is predicting they will lose the iron grip they have had on the football in recent years and Brady will unleash some errant throws, both of which will be game-changers against the Legionnaires. Seattle’s suffocating red-zone defense will keep Stephen Gostkowski busy, which means there will be some deflated Patriot legacies by 10 p.m. Sunday.

Seahawks 26-19

Hondo: Play balls! for more celebrity picks...

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