Sportsnet's video of the event referenced in our headline isn't working right now, so check back later (and read the rest of this accident continuing to happen.) But for now, here's the lead in for Kristina Rutherford's Magazine: 2 days (in Vegas) with Canseco:
Jose Canseco is leaning over his driver on the third hole of a ritzy golf course just outside Las Vegas. His golf buddies—two guys he met playing poker whose names he often forgets—are doubled over laughing. Canseco has been putting on a show since he stepped on the Tuscany Golf Course, yelling “Horses--t!” after bad drives, peeing on trees, talking up cart girls and dancing on the green while he sings “Coming ’Round the Mountain.” But this takes the cake. Canseco just asked me—the reporter with the high-pitched voice, the one he’ll be spending two days with—to fake an orgasm. He lets out his best impression of what I might sound like, but Canseco isn’t satisfied with his pitch. Now he’s looking at me, expectantly. The laughter of his poker pals, two guys who feed his ego and hang on his every word, only fuels his performance. Canseco asks again when it’s just the two of us on the golf cart, because surely I’m embarrassed to fake it in front of the crowd. He threatens to end the interview if I don’t give in. He encourages me to go behind a tree and record it, in case stage fright or shyness hold me back. “Come on, just a little noise, ‘I’m coming, baby,’” he says.Now that may be 'crowd pleasing' to Kristina. That's douchejuicy to us.
There are tears in my eyes from laughter. I’m shaking my head, no. “Pretend, for me.” Still, nothing. On the fourth hole, the business idea strikes: Canseco wants to turn my fake orgasm noise into a bestselling 99-cent ringtone. “Who wouldn’t buy that?” he asks, grinning. “It would sell like crazy.” It takes his golf buddies several minutes to regain their composure enough to tee off.
Every time you check twitter or facebook, think -- gotta check Bob's Blitz. ** Follow us on Twitter. Subscribe, or Return to BobsBlitz.com.
Tweet