La La is aware that MediaTakeout can be the enemy of both good taste and public figures such as herself. But she also knows that the site is where nearly every grimy rumor sluices down to, that Fred's sources are myriad and omnipresent—managers and publicists, video vixens and hangers-on, aggrieved hairdressers and under-tipped waitresses—and that if there's anything worth knowing about her husband that she doesn't already know, Fred is the person who will know it.
So, she asks: "How'd they come up with Honey Nut Cheerios?"
Fred is thin, tall, and today is wearing a denim shirt and Jordans; with his black-framed glasses and neatly shaved head, he still looks like the Ivy League graduate that he is. He tells La La that the same anonymous source who approached the Daily News, peddling the Cheerios rumor, had approached him first. "I didn't believe that shit," he explains.
Fred doesn't know much more than that about where the rumor came from. Which is okay, because it turns out La La has a second, more important question that Fred does know the answer to. She doesn't really care about Honey Nut Cheerios. The cereal was a pretext. What she really wants to know is: Has Fred heard about anything involving Melo and women who are not named La La Anthony? Tabloid stories have a way of begetting more tabloid stories. Groupies, girls, that kind of thing—just look at Tiger Woods, whose one VIP hostess quickly turned into a dozen after news of his infidelities went public. Once she's on the front page of the Daily News next to a stranger's quote about her vagina, La La says, "that's when people feel like, 'That's my chance to start something up or to make something up.' "
Fred nods sympathetically. On this subject, he says, he can help: "No bullshit came out."
"Good," La La says, as somewhere far away from here a chill shoots down the spine of the NBA's reigning scoring champion. "Because I'll cut a motherfucker's dick off, okay? And that'll be the next story."
Ponderous.
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