Oral Book: Craig Carton reads of Magic Johnson directed orgies from the hot new 'Showtime'

Our daily constitutional of Comcast XFINITY going down costs us money because time is taken out of our day in which we post and earn a living. Today, you almost missed Craig Carton reading about Magic Johnson's 'Get Busy' parties from Jeff Pearlman's Showtime: Magic, Kareem, Riley, and the Los Angeles Lakers Dynasty of the 1980s.

Just in the nick of time we were back up with our average crappy WiFi speeds. Just enough to hear Carton mouth this:

[Magic] Johnson fancied himself not merely an entertainer, but a maestro. "If you ever die and go to heaven, you want heaven to be Magic's house parties," said Frank Brickowski, a Lakers teammate. "He would have the finest girls in LA there. The absolute finest. And at midnight you had to get busy with somebody or you had to get the fuck out. So if you were a guy, at midnight you'd get as close as you could to the hottest possible woman. Magic Johnson then went around the house in a freaky voyeuristic way. He'd check on you. He'd go throughout the house and the pool and then he'd order people to start doing things. All you had to be was near a chick. There were guys who would yell, 'Magic, she's not getting busy! She's not!' Magic would run over and she'd get busy. Celebrity is seductive in LA. Girls have this desperation about them, like moths to a flame. It's sad. But when you're young and single in LA, fame matters."

Then...Craig went on to describe a nightmare gangbang/orgy complete with Al Dukes, Bob Dwyer, Tom Lugauer and Ray Martel replete in 80's Lakers short shorts.



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